forbidden love

I haven't felt like this for a long time. Yearss, perhaps. Maybe it's because there's something attractive about impossible relationships. Wanting something you can't have..? All i know is that when i see him i get a sudden rush of butterflies to my stomach and i'm falling so fast. I dunno what to do though. The right thing would be to probably try and take my mind off him and concentrate on my boyfriend.. Easier than done, hm? Every waking hour i think about him. I dream about him. The worst thing? I don't think i regret it.. When we kissed i wish it'd have lasted longer. When i was in his arms i wish i'd had never had to pull away. But i did. And it didn't. Life is so weird. But we only live once (or so we know) so shouldn't we make the most of that? It's just. When he's looking into my eyes and i'm looking back, and then he smiles, he makes me smile more than just on the outside. He makes me feel funny head to toe. Everytime i see him i want each second to last forever. He's nothing special, though. Not really. He's not much of a looker. But i'm in love with him sooo fucking much. I just hope this doesn't all end in tears. Because they're always usually mine.